Back to my story

I've been so busy doing different things that I haven't had time to blog about much lately except my current activities. Yesterday I started working on the slideshow that I'm making for my family. This is my first attempt at doing a slideshow so it's slow going, but I hope that I can get it together because I think an annual slideshow of my family would be a fun way of documenting what my different family members and my nieces and nephews have been up to this past year.

I wanted to get back to the story of my accident and what was happening in my life this time six years ago. I was still in the ICU at Barnes Jewish Hospital and I was slowly and steadily getting stronger. One exception was that I started having problems with my heart. My heart rate would slow way down, and as a result of the injury to my spinal cord, my nervous system couldn't tell my brain to make my heart speed up again. I would pass out as a result of not getting enough blood to my brain and this was very frightening because although I could feel myself starting to black out, but there wasn't anything I could do to prevent it. Long story short, my doctors thought the best solution would be to put a pacemaker in my body to regulate my heart rate.

My pacemaker surgery was scheduled for December 15. I still was wearing the halo vest which had been put on three weeks previously when my I had my neck stabilization surgery. I'm not sure why, but I couldn't go into surgery to get the pacemaker with the halo on, so it had to come off even though I was supposed to wear it for three more weeks.

On the morning of my surgery a doctor and a nurse who I had never met came into my room at 5:30 in the morning and began to dismantle the halo. I thought the halo would be taken off in surgery after I'd already been put to sleep, but this was not the case. The doctor had a wrench and he just went to work without even acknowledging me even though I was obviously awake. Since the halo was attached to my skull with four long screws it was excruciating to have the doctor jerking my head back and forth as he took the halo apart. When the halo was off the doctor and nurse threw all the parts of the halo onto the floor in the back of my room and then they left without even putting my head on a pillow. I was stunned at what had just happened and I remember feeling very vulnerable since my weak neck was left unsupported. I was really upset at not even been acknowledged, but I figured it was over, so I just let it go.

My pacemaker surgery went well and it solved the problem of me passing out because the pacemaker would take over and make my heart beat if my heart rate dropped below 60 beats per minute. I was so relieved to have the halo off since it had been so big and bulky. It also made it very difficult for the nurses to wash my hair, so when I got back from surgery it was finally time for a decent hair wash. It had been about three weeks since my accident, and my hair hadn't been thoroughly washed that entire time. It felt good to have it thoroughly washed. After my shampoos the nurses would braid my hair in pigtails so as to keep it contained and as neat as possible. I'd never liked myself in braids, but I didn't care as long as my hair was relatively clean and out of the way.

My neck was very weak, so I wore a hard cervical collar after my surgery. I liked wearing the collar because it supported my neck really well and made me feel more secure. Sometimes I would get uncomfortable and I would ask my family or friends to readjust the position of my head. I think everyone was understandably nervous when I would ask them to do this, but they would do it to try and help me be more comfortable.

It was mid-December by this time, so that meant the Christmas season was in full swing. A couple of my friends from the movie theater collected money from the different employees so that they could bring me a few Christmas goodies. They bought me a little fiber optic Christmas tree and some little Christmas ornaments to decorate the tree. I loved that little Christmas tree so much and I never turned it off. It really cheered me and helped to remind me that it was Christmas, even though it didn't seem like it.

Now that my health was relatively stable I knew that the next step would be going to rehab, but setting this up was easier said than done because my Mom's insurance did not want to pay to send me to the kind of facility where I could get the kind of care I needed. There were two model spinal cord injury rehab hospitals: Craig Hospital in Denver, Colorado, and Shepherd Center in Atlanta, Georgia. It was imperative that I go to either of these hospitals, but my insurance wanted to send me to a cheaper facility which was basically like a nursing home. The doctors at this facility didn't specialize in spinal cord injuries and the facility really wasn't designed for people like me. They sent a representative to talk to my mom, and after the meeting my mom emphatically told the women, "I will not be sending my daughter to your facility."

To make a long story short, my mom switched health insurance to Blue Cross Blue Shield because they would pay for me to go to a specialized rehab facility. My mom called Shepherd Center on Christmas Eve and started talking to some of the people there. It sounded like a really good rehab hospital, so we started the ball rolling so that I could go to rehab there. Mom and I definitely weren't looking forward to leaving town, but we knew that this was a necessary step to take in our new life and it also meant that we would be one step closer to our ultimate goal which was going home.

That's all I have time to write about today, but I'll write more soon!

Merry Christmas, Dad!

Filling in on the rest of my weekend...

On Saturday afternoon my friends Tammy and Justin came over for a visit. I went to high school with Tammy and Justin, and they are actually my only friends from high school that I am still friends with. We had a nice visit and it was fun to have them over and catch up with them.

On Saturday evening my friend Nate came over for dinner. After dinner he helped me on my computer for a little while because there were some things that I needed help with. After that, Nate, Chandra and I watched the second Night at the Museum movie. I fell asleep shortly after the movie began, which is kind of ironic because I fell asleep when I saw this movie in the theater, as well! I'm hoping to watch it again; maybe the third time will be the charm!

On Sunday morning my mom, Chandra and I stopped by the cemetery on the way to church. I wanted to take some new flowers to my dad. I've mentioned this before, but I love the cemetery where my dad is buried. It is so peaceful and not at all like a typical "graveyard." Here are some pictures that I had Chandra take of the front and back of my dad's head stone. I especially love the back of the head stone because a picture of the Salt Lake Temple were my parents were married is etched into the stone. It also says, "families are forever" above the temple. These words are especially touching to me because I know that my family is a forever family.
On Sunday evening the three of us went to an event at my church called Crèches and Carols. It's an annual event where hundreds of different crèches and nativities are displayed throughout the building. There is also a lot of music and different activities. It's a completely free event, and it's just fun to walk (or roll!) around and feel the Christmas spirit. After we looked at the different displays, we went into the chapel and watched a devotional that was broadcast over the satellite from Salt Lake City. The general leaders of my church shared some short Christmas messages, and there were also several musical numbers sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. It was a wonderful evening and helped to make me even more excited for Christmas.

Dr. Bartschi turns 30!

Yesterday was my friend Nate's 30th birthday. I met him about 18 months ago when he came to St. Louis for his 2 1/2 year orthodontic residency at St. Louis University. He's been a great addition to my circle of friends and I was glad I was able to help him celebrate his birthday.

We went to a Mexican restaurant called Pueblo Solis. I'd never been there before, so it was fun to try out a new restaurant. It wasn't exactly handicap accessible, but I was able to go in through the back of the restaurant, so I got in without too much trouble.

Mexican food isn't my favorite (except Taco Bell), but I usually end up liking the food that I order. I didn't know what to order at this place, so I got an appetizer which was a sample platter that had four different things on it. Everything was okay, but the one thing I really liked was the quesadilla. It was so cheesy and delicious! Here's a picture of my appetizer, although it's kind of hard to make out what the different things are:

The five pictures under the picture of my meal are just a few group shots, a picture of Nate and his chicken burrito, a picture of Nate, Chandra and me and finally one of me and Chan. It was a fun evening and I'm glad they picked a restaurant that was accessible enough so that I could be a part of the celebration!

Wells Fargo night at the zoo

A few weeks ago my mom's financial guy called to invite her and our family to the zoo to see the Christmas lights, have food and participate in a few other holiday activities. My mom, Chandra and I all thought it sounded like fun and I wondered what the zoo would look like lit up in Christmas lights. It was quite chilly and breezy last night, so we bundled up and headed out. This event was for families, so we invited my younger sister Laura and her husband Brett -- our only family that lives locally. (My mom and I both remarked how much fun it would've been to take our grandchildren/my nieces and nephews.)

It was very busy when we arrived and we saw a lot of people with their kids bundled up in strollers. A dinner of hot dogs, hamburgers and bratwursts was provided and there was also coleslaw, potato salad, baked beans and cookies and brownies for dessert. I only had chips, a cookie and hot cocoa, but everything looked very good. We had so much fun looking at the lights -- it was very beautiful and I wonder how long it took to put up the lights because there were so many of them! The zoo was very busy and it was fun to see so many people in attendance. Although I was bundled up under several blankets I got cold especially when the wind would blow in my face. It was a great time, but the part I enjoyed the most was when my sister Laura told me she's pregnant and. due at the beginning of next August. I'm very excited for her!

I'm so glad that we were able to go to this activity! Here are some pictures of my family and me from last night and of the lights:

My favorite Christmas movies

I've been so busy this week that I haven't had much time to make posts in my blog. I love this time of year and I wanted to write about a few of my favorite Christmas movies. These movies aren't in any particular order, but they are just some of my faves!

The Animated Television Christmas Classics: I bought this DVD set a few years back and it includes Rudolph, Frosty and several others. I also love How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Anyway, I have such fond memories of watching these movies when I was a little girl. I still love watching them now even though I'm an adult -- they remind me of the excitement I felt for Christmas when I'd watch them as a little girl.

Miracle on 34th Street: (the old version) This movie was often on after the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade on Thanksgiving Day when I was growing up. It's such a fun one, and I also have a lot of nostalgic feelings tied to this movie.

White Christmas: This is another movie that was a Johnson Family favorite. We watched this one a lot as a family growing up. Some of the musical numbers in the movie can get a little long, but I love the entire movie! I love hearing the songs from the movie because they just take me back and make me excited for Christmas!

A Christmas Carol: There are so many versions of this story, but I think the 1984 version with George C. Scott is by far the best. I love watching this movie on Christmas Eve -- another Johnson Family favorite!

Elf: This movie came out on November 7, 2003 and it was one of the last movies that I saw in the movie theater before my car accident. I remember laughing so hard and I loved it! It didn't come out on DVD until the following November, and when I watched it, it brought back a lot of memories of watching movies at the movie theater with my coworkers. I'm actually not a huge fan of the end of the movie because I think the humor kind of fizzles out, but I have to watch it every year to get my kicks.

It's a Wonderful Life: This is not only my favorite Christmas movie, but it's my favorite movie of all time. I have to admit that I didn't watch this movie all the way through until 2005. I remember my dad watching this movie several times when I was a kid, but I always left about 20 minutes into the movie because I thought it was boring. I was so wrong, but I was a kid at the time, so it's okay! This movie really isn't a Christmas movie at all, in my opinion, except at the end when George Bailey has his crisis on Christmas Eve. There are two main reasons why I love this movie so much:

1) I love how you can make a profound difference in the lives of the people around you without even being aware of it. I think this is good food for thought.

2) I don't know how much you know about this movie, but George Bailey's life did not turn out the way he was hoping and expecting it to. When a crisis occurs on Christmas Eve, (his forgetful Uncle Billy accidentally misplaces $8000, and the family's building and loan business is in serious jeopardy) George feels like he's worth more dead than alive, (because of his $500 life insurance policy) and he decides to commit suicide by jumping into the icy river. He says, "I wish I'd never been born." This is where the Angel Clarence enters the picture. He is sent to help George realize that his life has meaning, no matter how dire the straits may seem. To make a long story short, George comes to realize how much good he did for others in his life, and I love it when he exclaims, "I wanna live again!" (This line always brings tears to my eyes.) George is granted a second chance at life and at the end of the movie Clarence gives George a book with the inscription, "No man is a failure who has friends." If you haven't ever given this movie a chance, watch it because it's wonderful!

Well, there you have it! These are my favorite Christmas movies!

LOTR movie marathon

The Lord of the Rings movie trilogy are some of my favorite movies of all time. It's been a couple of years since I've watched the movies, so my younger sister Chandra and I decided to watch them while she was on Thanksgiving break from school. We watched the first movie on Thanksgiving night with our friends Laura and Nate. We pulled the recliners from the living room into my room, and although it was crowded we had a lot of fun watching the movie together.

Channie and I finished watching the trilogy last night. We watched all three movies this past weekend which is quite an accomplishment since the three movies are 11 hours combined! I have such good memories of working at the movie theater when these movies came out. These movies were very popular, so the movie theater buzzed with excitement when these movies were first released.

After I finished watching the trilogy again last night I was trying to think which of the movies is my favorite. I like them for different reasons, so it's hard to pick my favorite. I love the first one because the scenery is so pretty. When I first saw the movie in the theater back in 2001, I remember feeling very disappointed when the movie ended. Although the movie was over, the story wasn't over and I learned that I would have to wait two more years for the third movie to be released so that I could find out how the story ended.

The second movie is probably my favorite because of the fond memories that are attached to it. I was working as a manager at the movie theater when this movie came out at the end of 2002. I saw the movie in the theater three times, not to mention seeing the end of the movie dozens of times. (We'd have to clean up the auditoriums where the movies were shown, so we would often catch the last few minutes of the movies while we prepared to clean up.) I have a lot of the lines in this movie memorized; especially the lines at the end of the movie.

Of the three movies the one I'm least familiar with is last movie. I was so looking forward to seeing this movie. It was scheduled to be released in December of 2003 and I could not wait. Long story short, I was in the ICU when the movie was released and I couldn't see it. I was so disappointed! All of my friends went to see it, but I had to wait five months for it to come out on DVD before I could see it. That was pure torture! I was so excited when I finally was able to see it. I thought it was wonderfully done, and it was so nice to find out how the story ended.

Since then I've listened to the Lord of the Rings books on CD. I think I prefer the movies, though, because they make more sense to me than the books. It's probably because I'm kind of simpleminded, but I just feel like I miss a lot of the details and get confused easily when I'm just relying on the books. It doesn't help that the vernacular of those books is so much different than the way we speak today. Anyway, this was a fun part of my Thanksgiving weekend. I love how movies make for such good passtimes!

Black Friday

I recently wrote about my Thanksgiving holiday, but now I will fill in the rest of the details about my Thanksgiving weekend. My sister Chandra and I went out shopping on Black Friday. We didn't get up in the wee hours of the morning; we waited to go out until 11 am. We started by going to Target . The parking lot was packed, so I feared that the store would be a madhouse. It was definitely busier than it usually is when I'm there, but it actually wasn't too crazy, all things considered.

After that we went to Michael's. I was specifically looking for a nice picture frame for my Starry Night puzzle that finally got finished. I found what I was looking for and I think the puzzle will look really nice in the frame I got.

Then I went to Famous Footwear because I've been looking for a pair of black shoes. I found a pair that I really liked, but it was hard for Chandra to put them on my feet, so I sadly put them back ;) Luckily I found another pair of shoes that were very similar to the first pair, but they fit on my feet a lot easier (probably because they were size 6 1/2 -- one size too big).

Chandra and I were about shopped out by this time since it had been about four hours, but we decided to go to Wal-Mart on the way home since it is newly rebuilt and I wanted to see it. I didn't find anything I wanted buy at Wal-Mart, but I loved the new store because it was very wheelchair friendly! (There were no curbs in the front, so I didn't have to look for a cut out on the sidewalk. Also, the floors inside the store were so smooth and not as rough to roll over as most are.)

Chandra and I were gone for about five hours, but we had a lot of fun shopping together.

It's finally finished!

In the summer of 2001 I bought a jigsaw puzzle of the Vincent van Gogh painting Starry Night. The puzzle has a shimmery/metallic look to it, and I thought it looked really neat, so I bought it. I tried putting it together, but it was a really difficult puzzle, so I gave up on it and put it away. The puzzle has been on my mind for the past eight years, and I've really wanted to get it put together so that I could glue it together and frame it.

I love jigsaw puzzles because they remind me of my dad. He loved putting puzzles together and he would glue them together and glued them to our garage wall. I also love art, so this puzzle was especially neat to me since it is my favorite painting. I got the puzzle out again this past summer and my brother-in-law Gordon worked on it when he visited in July. My sister Chandra has been working on it since then, but the progress has been very slow going since the puzzle is so difficult. Long story short, after five months, Chandra and my friends Laura and Nate finally got the puzzle finished yesterday. I'm so excited!

Here are some pictures of Chandra, Laura and Nate while they were working on the puzzle yesterday.

And the finished product!

Thanksgiving 2009

Yesterday was Thanksgiving and it was a great day. None of my family was able to come into town, but we invited a few friends over for dinner. My mom invited her friend Paul, and I invited my friends Laura and Nate. We had a relaxing day and enjoyed hanging out together. Chandra and I have been wanting to watch the Lord of the Rings movies again recently, so the four of us watched The Fellowship of the Ring after dinner.

Here's a picture of my friends and me (and my younger sister Chandra).

The road to recovery

After my accident there were so many things that I had to “re-learn” how to do. Actually, it was learning how to do things in a different way. I wasn't able to speak after the accident and I had to mouth all of my words. As you can imagine, this was extremely frustrating at times when people couldn't understand what I was trying to say.

One thing that helped was an electro-larnyx. This is a small device (cylindrical and about 7 inches tall) that provides a voice when you are trying to speak. When it is pressed against the neck of someone who is trying to talk, it catches the vibrations your voice box is making, and it produces a low, mechanical sound that mimics what you're trying to say. (It's really difficult explaining this to someone who doesn't know how it works, so I'm trying to do the best I can.) I loved the electro-larnyx because when my friends and family held it against my neck I could actually communicate with them! The only downside would be when the battery ran out and we would have to charge it. I was back at square one when it was charging.

Another thing I had to learn how to do again was swallow so that I could eat and drink. I'm not sure of the exact medical/technical reason it was so difficult to swallow now, but my muscles used for swallowing may have been slightly paralyzed, or at the very least, they were extremely weak from several weeks of not using them. Before I was allowed to eat and drink anything, I had to go through several swallow studies with a speech pathologist. This wasn't a pleasant procedure! The speech pathologist inserted a lubed up fiber-optic camera in one side of my nose and fed it down the back of my mouth until it got to my throat. This camera was hooked up to a TV monitor so that the speech pathologist could watch me swallow and make sure that everything was going down my esophagus and not entering my airway. The speech pathologist had me eat blue applesauce (the blue dye made the applesauce more visible) and then he would watch to see if I could swallow it or not.

As I reflect, it's hard to remember why it was so difficult to swallow and what it felt like, but it was difficult, and I could only eat soft things, like popsicles, Jell-O, pudding, etc. I had to undergo three or four of these awful swallow studies, and I hated all of them because the camera down my nose was terribly uncomfortable, in addition to the fact that I've always hated applesauce! However, this was a necessary means to an end because it meant that I was swallowing well enough to be able to start eating again. (Although, I have to admit that one neat thing about the swallow studies was that it was really cool to see the inside of my throat, vocal cords, trachea and things like that.)

The first "real" thing I ate after the developing the ability to swallow again was the hospital's spaghetti and meatballs. I've never been a huge fan of spaghetti, but it tasted so good! I remember not eating much, though, because my stomach filled up so quickly, and also because chewing and swallowing was a lot more tedious and time-consuming. Sometimes I'd get bored/tired of eating, so I'd just quit. I wasn't eating much at all at this time, so anything I did eat was supplemented with liquid food via my feeding tube.

About two months later when I was in rehab, I actually got to the point where I was able to eat well enough that I decided I didn't need to rely on my feeding tube anymore, and I wanted it removed. I wasn't exactly sure how the procedure of removing my surgically implanted feeding tube would go, but then I found out it was a really simple procedure -- they just yank it out. One of the nurses wrapped the feeding tube (which stuck out about 18 inches from my body) around her hand, she braced herself by putting her other hand on my abdomen, she counted to three and pulled... hard! There was a stopper (about the circumference of a quarter) on the inside of my stomach so that the feeding tube would be secure and not move around. It hurt so badly, but the pain was over immediately, so it wasn't overly excruciating, although, the site remained tender for several weeks. I was so happy when I was able to ditch the feeding tube!

More to come soon...