November 17, 2003: 20 Years Later

Today is the 20th anniversary of the car accident that changed my life. (To read more about my accident, click here.) I have been anticipating this anniversary for years. I was just 19 years old at the time of my accident, so I have now been paralyzed longer than I was able-bodied. That's crazy to think about. Sometimes I still can't believe this is my life… I never would have imagined that my life would turn out this way. 

The first few years after my accident were very difficult for both my mom and for me, as we both learned how to navigate our new life. We both experienced a lot of loss and went through a grieving process. It was hard having to let go of most of my dreams and the plans I had made for my life, while everyone else I knew was still moving forward with their normal lives. I would never want to go back and relive those first few post-accident years again! As difficult as it was, with the help of family, a few good friends, and my faith in God and His plan, I was able to make my way through the aftermath of the most difficult thing I'd ever experienced. 

I've always maintained that breaking my neck was the worst thing to happen to me physically, but the best thing to happen to me spiritually. I guess you could say that what broke me physically healed me spiritually. I'm ashamed to admit this, but God was not the number one priority in my life prior to me becoming paralyzed. I was letting other things like school, work, and friends take priority in my life, and I wasn't making as much time for my relationship with God as I should have. There is nothing like almost dying to give you a good wake-up call to force you to examine your life and think about what is most important. While I would have never wanted to go through everything I have, I'm grateful for the opportunity to make spiritual progress that I wouldn't have made (or made as soon) without going through this trial.  The things I've gained outweigh the things I've lost.

Here is a quote that expresses my feelings about why God allows difficult things to happen to us:

Our Heavenly Father, who gives us so much to delight in, also knows that we learn and grow and become stronger as we face and survive the trials through which we must pass. 

- Thomas S. Monson 

Even though my life is very physically challenging, and I've experienced a lot of disappointment, loss and frustration in the last 20 years, my quiet, simple life is still pretty great. I'm grateful to be alive and to have more time on earth to continue to grow and improve. I'm grateful to have more time with my amazing mom and my wonderful sisters. I'm so glad that my 27 nieces and nephews actually get to know me, instead of me just being a name and a photograph of their aunt that died in an accident long ago. I'm grateful for the wonderful friends I've made in the last 20 years that I wouldn't have met if my life had ended years ago. So even though this isn't the life I imagined, I'll take it!

Finally, a verse from one of the apostle Paul's letters to the Corinthians: 

For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!

 - 2 Corinthians 4:17 (NLT)