Wednesday, April 4, 2012

"The Five Love Languages"

Last month my book club read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, which is a great book for anyone who has a relationship with anyone else, whether it's their spouse, child, friend, family member, acquaintance etc. In The Five Love Languages we learn that everyone has a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. Of all the ways love can be expressed, five key categories, or love languages, proved to be universal. The five love languages are Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts and Physical Touch.

The book talks about each of the love languages, and then there is also a 30 question quiz that helps you determine what your primary love language is. This book gives you a lot of food for thought, especially when you use it in the context of your relationships with those around you.

I am actually "bilingual" in my primary love language because when I took the quiz I got the same score in two of the five categories. My two primary love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. I definitely think this is spot on for my personality because in regards to my relationships with my friends, family and loved ones, I really enjoy spending lots of quality time with people. I also find affirming words especially touching and meaningful. There is nothing better than a heartfelt note from someone!

However, even though quality time and affirming words are my two primary love languages, I really identify with all of the love languages. I like it when people do acts of service and kind things for me and I enjoy the gesture of physical touch, even though I'm not able to return the gesture. I also really love getting gifts because it really shows the thoughtfulness of a person if they give you a gift that they know you would like. At least, in my personal experience I know one of the ways I  like to show my love for people that our special to me is to buy them gifts. I'm the kind of person that loves finding out about people; when I meet someone new I like to find out everything about them. I really listen when people talk and I remember the things they say. I think being a good listener is the key to being a good gift giver.

If you're interested in The Five Love Languages, click here for more information. Gary Chapman has also written other editions of the book that are tailored towards singles, children, men and teenagers, and he's also written The Five Love Languages of Apology and The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Work Place.


Loretta Valenta said...

TIm and I have read this book about 3 years ago, Heather, and really liked it. I think it is very helpful to identify ways that we feel love. I higly recommend this book! :)

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