Friday, January 20, 2012

Dream Big!

I find myself daydreaming a lot because it's fun to think about where I'd be and what I'd be doing if I weren't paralyzed. What kind of nurse would I have been? Would I be married by now and what would my husband be like? Would we have children yet? If so, how many and what gender? Where would we live and what would our lives be like? Would I be a good wife and mother? My answer to so many of those questions is "I hope so." I know it's no use speculating on the "what ifs" but it's hard not to.

When I think about my life, I have a long list of small dreams and a short list of big dreams. Of course the things that matter most are health and prosperity for myself and my family. But if you asked me what my ultimate dreams are, they would be these:

1. To get married: After my accident I felt like this dream was suddenly off the table and something I'd never be able to experience in this life. That was a devastating blow since being married has always been (and still is) my number one dream in life. I know the chance of a man falling in love with me is much more slimnow that I'm paralyzed, but I'm not completely counting it out like I did right after my accident. The fact is, I'm really amazing and I know I could offer someone a life of joy. Granted, our life wouldn't be "normal" or traditional, but I know we would be happy. I've actually already picked out the man I want to marry, but now it's just a matter of getting HIM to fall in love with ME! (But that's a story for another day.)

This is the St. Louis, Missouri Temple, and it's where I will get married if/when I ever get asked. And this is the kind of wedding ring I want. (No engagement ring needed – just a nice, sparkly diamond wedding band!
2. To have my dream house: Since my accident it's been my dream to have my own the handicapped accessible house. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful to live in my mom's house where I have my own room, but I would LOVE a house of my own to share with my mom (and husband) where we both have our own space, but we still live in the same house.
I love, love, love built-in furniture. Although I love dark, cherry wood best, I think I would opt for white shelves, like the ones in the pictures below so that the dust wouldn't show quite as much. I just want a nice, bright house with high ceilings and white built-in furniture to give it a clean and open feel.
 3. This is a silly dream, but I'm determined to make it happen! I want to meet Anderson Cooper; or rather, have HIM come to meet ME since it would be really difficult for me to get to NYC! My desire's so strong that I even wrote AC a letter and submitted it on his talk show's website. If you know me at all, then you know that this is SO not my style since I'm shy and I don't like to draw attention to myself. However, I'm finding my desire to meet Anderson so strong that it's trumping all else and I'm deviating from my normally shy and withdrawn ways!
I'd like to be able to see my family more often, but flying in a commercial airplane is really out of the question since I'd have to get out of my wheelchair. I think a private jet would be the way to go so that I can stay in my wheelchair. It would also be nice to have lots of money so that I could live a comfortable life and not have to worry about where the money to cover my needs is going to come from. (Being disabled can be quite expensive! Fortunately, I have wonderful medical insurance so I really can't complain.)

Well, that about does it for my small list of big dreams. I'm not asking for too much, am I?! ;)


Erin said...

I love built-in furniture too, and those pictures you posted are gorgeous! I especially like the bedroom with the window seat - so cute!

Melissa said...

This was fun to read. Heather, I really hope and pray that ALL your dreams (and more) come true. I absolutely don't think falling in love and getting married is out of the question for you. You are right, you are amazing and I know there are lots of men who would also agree. I love the house pics too. If you've seen my pics on FB, then you know those white shelves are right up my alley! :)

Melissa said...

Oh and I really want to hear more about this lucky guy you have your eye on!!

Colleen said...

3 words Heather...NEVER GIVE UP! You will get all that you want if you stay open to the possibilities...

After experiencing marriage for 18 years, i am SO happy now that it ended after much trying, but thank God I had the chance to try it. ALso, 2 grown up kids who are my saving grace. DON'T give up the dream that you will be married with children. Anything can happen and will if you want it too!
Colleen in Mn.

Anonymous said...

What an awesome list of dreams! If anyone could achieve them I believe it would be you!

Lisa from Mississippi

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