Monday, October 11, 2010

Damaged goods

In my last post I wrote about my sadness over not being a mother and knowing that I won't have that opportunity in this life. I also wrote about not liking to write about tender feelings such as this because I don't want to make other people feel uncomfortable, or like I'm coming across as bitter or like I'm trying to get pity from people. Nonetheless I'm going to write about something else that causes me sadness and disappointment. I'm lonely, as I imagine most single people are. What makes these feelings worse is that I know how wonderful I am! At the risk of sounding full of myself, I know that I would be such an amazing wife if I were able-bodied because I'm the type that would want to be the kind of wife who likes to cook and clean, be a stay-at-home mom, run the household and things like that.

However, even though I'm an amazing person on the inside, I don't get a second look in the dating/marriage arena since I'm "damaged" on the outside. I'm basically a dented can of peaches! When you're shopping at the grocery store you pick the beautiful, normal canned goods and disregard the damaged, dented cans, even though what's inside of them is still good! (You know you do!)

I guess if I were to get married it would take a very special person to love me enough to be able to get over the fact that I'm physically "damaged" and to know that we wouldn't have a traditional life/marriage. I suppose they would just have to love the person that I am on the inside enough to realize that one day we WILL have that "normal" life together in the next life when we've both been resurrected.

I'm happy and positive and I truly know how to live joyfully, even in the midst of trials. I guess if somebody would want a happy life and marriage, even if it weren't "traditional," then I would be the girl for them! For now I'm content enough to stay joyous, even if that means being single!


Sashee said...

The more I read your posts, the more I can see what a GORGEOUS person you are. A man would be lucky to have you in his life! Be picky :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Heather, have you ever looked at virtual worlds? There is a non-profit group called Virtual Ability that helps people with disabilities get into Second Life. If you google them you can find out how to get into Second Life through them so they can get you oriented as they are familiar with adaptive software and such.

Virtual Worlds are a great place to meet people because you are on an even playing field and people have found real life relationships there. Not that it's perfect - there are technical issues and you might prefer to stick to areas that are G rated, but there are lots of them. There is even a Mormon community.

Another group in Second Life is Gimp Girl which is a support group for women with disabilities. Both they and Virtual Ability have meetings and outings. There is also a lot of fashion in SL, I love dressing my avatar up and think you would enjoy that aspect as well. Just throwing this out to you in case you might be interested. :)

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