Monday, April 11, 2011

Timing's everything

What is perfect timing?

Is it when a butterfly lands on your face and there's someone around with a camera in hand to snap the picture at just the right moment? (Thanks Kristin!) Or is it when you're in the right place at the right time and you meet "the one?"

Here are some of my thoughts about timing, in particular the timing of my car accident. The timing of the HOW and the WHEN.

The how: I was stopped at a red light (first car in line). The light turned green and I started to go. At that same time a car ran a red light and T-boned my car on the driver's side. The timing of the collision was just so, and our cars collided at just the exact second so that I was in the perfect position for my neck to break. I know it's odd to have the words "perfect," "neck" and "break" in the same sentence, but that's the only way to describe what happened.

The when: I know my accident occurred at the right time in my life. There are so many things that I wish I could've experienced, things that I'll never have the chance to do now. However, I lived 19 years as an able-bodied person and I'm thankful for those years and for all of the "normal" experiences I was able to have. I know what it's like to be normal, and now I know what it's like to be disabled. Being disabled has really given me a different perspective on life and has greatly increased my compassion for others, especially people that have physical challenges. (My increased compassion is one of the benefits of my accident that I highly value.)

I'm content at when my accident happened, although there is one thing I really wish I could've been able to accomplish before my accident. I wish I could've finished nursing school. I know I wouldn't be able to work as a nurse now that I'm disabled, but having my nursing degree would be something that I would have that no one could take away from me. Even though I only completed 20% of my nursing program, I learned so much in that short time. It would be great to have the knowledge and experience that I would've gained in the other 80% of the program, but it wasn't meant to be.

So far in my post I've talked about MY thoughts and MY ideas of perfect timing, however, I know that the Lord is in control of my life and that everything happens in HIS timing. The Lord's timing truly is perfect, so I take comfort in knowing that my accident happened when the Lord wanted it to. Whenever I get impatient about my situation or I wonder how long I'm going to have to wait for some of the things I want, I just pray that the Lord will help me align my desires with HIS desires.

One last thought about timing. Do you ever feel like you're in a time warp and you're sort of stuck in a rut? You know you/time is moving forward, but at the same time you feel like you haven't really progressed at all. I know I'm probably not explaining this well. Sometimes my accident seems like it was just yesterday, but other times I can't believe that I've been paralyzed for more than seven years. I've spent almost ¼ of my life disabled! I know there's going to come a time when I will have been disabled longer than I was able-bodied. THAT will be weird, but luckily I still have quite a few years before that will happen.
To sum this up, time is a strange thing since it goes so slowly and yet so quickly at the same time.


Kim @ Stuff could... said...

You summed up the time thing perfectly, so slow but zooms by at the same time? Yes His timing is it!

Anonymous said...

You write so beautifully and with such insight about deep and difficult things - thank you so much for sharing this. May you be blessed richly for being such a blessing to so many.
With love and prayers,
Eliza in Ireland

Anonymous said...

Hey - I am certainly glad to find this. cool job!

Ethan said...

I admire your courage and optimism. You view your car accident in a very enlightening way. Your story can serve as a great inspiration to everyone. Being paralyzed for seven long years does not make you a lesser individual; in fact, if anything else, it even made you better and more appreciative of the blessings you enjoy! I hope you were able to acquire the right amount of compensation from the actual damages you incurred. I’m pretty sure you can also finish your nursing degree. You only need diligence, patience, and faith in yourself. I'm sure you’ll be able to make your dreams come true.

Ethan Rehman

Javier Hoppes said...

Well, I admire you for your attitude toward the situation you’re in, and I think that could be the best outlook one could ever have in such a situation. :) Also, it could not be nursing that is meant for you to do, but there are still a whole lot of opportunities and options for you to take. Keep on believing! :) By the way, I do hope you were able to assert your rights with the help of the law.

Javier Hoppes

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